We, at Summit, want our clients to thrive and flourish in the third third of life. So, there’s a couple of interesting things I would like to pass on to you. Below is a summary from the Fuller DePree Center on the third third of life. It's about flourishing, and it's about “You Can’t Do It Alone”.
"There’s been many, many studies that show the effects of “adequate social relationships” and those that have adequate social relationships have a 50% greater likelihood of survival compared to those with poor, insufficient social relationships. If you’re in the 3rd 3rd of life, having adequate social relationships helps you live long and well to the same degree, as say, quitting smoking. You don’t even need great relationships. Adequate relationships are sufficient."
There’s some implications from some of these studies that I wanted to share with you. If you really, truly want to flourish and thrive in this third third of life - it’s going to be very important to nurture social relationships. Focus on developing, cultivating and enjoying relationships with key people in your life. Your families, your friends, neighbors, colleagues, church members, mentees, volunteers, pickleball partners, small group companions - well you get it - you can name some others there. A report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine points out that more than one-third of adults age 45 and older feel lonely, and nearly one-fourth of adults age 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated. Older adults are at increased risk for loneliness and social isolation because they are more likely to face factors such as living alone, the loss of a family member or friend, chronic illness, or even hearing loss. Loneliness has to do with what people feel. Social isolation is the lack of social contact. You can live with people, but still feel alone, or still feel lonely. You can live by yourself, but enjoy meaningful relationships that prevent loneliness. The important point is that both loneliness and social isolation can shorten your life, especially as you get older. Therefore, relationships are essential to flourishing.
One key point, in terms of the importance of relationships in the third third, has been demonstrated by one of the longest and most respected studies of human development ever undertaken. Beginning in the late 1930s, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has focused on human health and well-being. Now, among that Harvard Study, and this is summarized in a TED Talk by Dr. Robert Waldinger, called “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness", (which that TED Talk has been viewed by 43 million people). What they’ve learned - the lessons that come from that is, (from tens of thousands of pages of data) - it’s not about wealth, or fame, or working harder or longer, or more and more work, lessons are - and the clearest message is, that good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
Another surprising result of the Harvard Study is that they followed some of the men all the way into their 80s, and they wanted to look back at them in mid-life and see if they could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian. “Who was it?” The people who were most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. So based on that study, it turns out that people who were more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well-connected, and the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. In the book, written by George Vaillant, called “The Triumphs of Experience” he writes, “the capacity for intimate relationships that predicted flourishing in all aspects of these men’s lives was intimate relationships.” Now, earlier on, it said adequate relationships. I think the key to healthy aging is “relationships, relationships, relationships.”
So, I’d like to encourage you to take to heart the truth, and if you want to flourish in the third third of this life, don’t do it alone. God has created you as a relational being, and you will live fully and fruitfully when you are in relationship with others. This is true in every season of life, especially in the third third. As you seek to flourish by nurturing the core relationships in your life, be sure to reach out to those who might be isolated or lonely. Your time with them can make a big difference in their lives and in yours, too! So pick up that phone, call mom - call dad. I’m going to do that today! Thank you for your continued trust and confidence, and I hope this was encouraging to you.